The Brave Little Toaster!
Blazing clouds of red surround me, trailed by a blackened atmosphere. Such a thick fog obscures my vision, yet evokes some of the most convincing illusions. To my left, your cackling faces emit shrill laughter, triggering hatred far beyond my comprehension. To my right, you’re all unresponsive, immune to all actions. I await the moment you and your recreant friends solidify; then you will know real torture.
I must say this is a great dash you got going here buddy. Jew my pail!